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Cecil Duke Collection
assortment of items and some other names
Page 1 - Photos
Page 2 - Photos from Negatives
Page 3 - Letters 1932 - 1941
Page 4 - Letters 1942 - 1943
Page 5 - Letters
1944
Page 6 - Letters 1945 - 1948 (also
letters with no dates)
Page 7 - Letters 1950s onwards &
Certificates, Invoices etc.
1944
    
  
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1) 11th January 1944 - to Sub-Lieut (E) C. Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. Southern
Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - 140 Kings Road, Belfast Tuesday 11.1.44
My Dearest Darling, As I write, my thoughts go back to this time last week
Cecil Dear, what a surprise you gave me, I need hardly tell you again how
much I had looked forward to seeing you, and now when I think over it all I
cannot forgive myself for not waiting for you. If only it was tonight I
would wait even for ever. I am so lonely without you Dearest and would give
anything to be with you at this moment. Must you come back the nest time to
go through this all again, it is not fair to you Darling in these uncertain
days, and even if you try to pretend that you can bear it, the hurt only
grows. There must be some way out, if only we could be happy together
how different everything would be, then, the weeks and months that we spend
apart longing for your leave to come round would be less dreary. Cecil, it
is this hoping and dreaming for something which never comes, a few happy
hours with you, that hurts so much, nearly as much as the grief I feel when
I see you going away unhappy. Surely things cannot last much longer like
this, and yet every day I still hope and dream and can hardly wait until the
day comes round when your telegram will tell me you are coming back again.
Cecil Dear please let the next time be different. I hope you are feeling
much better Dearest and shaken off that dose of 'flu. The cough mixture and
a few other little things went on their way to you yesterday, I hope you
like everything. You have not said anything about Saccharins recently,
but I suppose your little stock is getting quite low, I will send some next
letter. My Dearest I am wearing your lovely necklace, I wish you could
see it, I do think so much of it. Darling don't be worrying yourself too
much, everything is bound to come right soon, it is the waiting that is so
hard to bear. Let us never lose hope or our love for each other and
with that we will always be happy however little else we have. I am thinking
of you every minute during the day Dearest and praying for God to bless and
keep you always. Goodnight Cecil Dear, My love always and always, Sheila
(kisses)
2) 13th January 1944 - Postmark ? to Sub. Lieutenant C. Hudson, c/o Hawden
Post Office, Hawden-On-Tyne, Northumberland - Sir, I am writing you a few
lines in answer to your letter to say I am very sorry to have caused this
trouble. You don't know what I have gone through, I have a husband who
doesn't care a rat for me or my child all he wants is other women, I
received a letter from an A.T.S. girl thanking him for a 48 hours they had
spent glourious together, and when he does come home he never takes us out
he goes on his own drinking and never comes in till two and three in a
morning. Every thing I ask him he tells me to mind mine own (B) business and
he also never writes to me so don't know where he is. I know this much if he
isn't careful he will be getting himself into trouble over sending people
chocolate as he is not entitled to any at all, it takes him all his time
even to give his own child any. I never see any at all. We never speak to
one another he says he will just go where and with whom he likes but I arn't
bothered every dog has it's day. I will close now. Mrs. Watson
       
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1) 28th January 1944 - Postmark maybe Nottingham to Sub-Lieut. (E) C. Duke,
R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince," c/o G.P.O., London - "Goldings" John's
Road, Radcliffe-on-Trent, Notts. 27th January 1944 My dear
Cecil, I feel rather nervous about writing to you again, as you apparently
thought it better not to answer my last? At least, this is the explanation I
choose, rather than to think you just couldn't be bothered to answer, & that
you had lost all interest - &, even, that you were glad of an opportunity to
finish the correspondence! I am right, I hope in assuming that you
refrained from writing to me again because of the news I sent you last time,
that I was seeing a solicitor the next day. As a matter of fact, I did
so, & although it is almost impossible to discuss such a situation by letter
- and embarrassing too - it might interest you to hear that his opinion was
that if I wished to obtain a judicial separation I would have absolutely no
difficulty in doing so, in fact, that the whole thing would go through
easily & quickly, because the grounds I had were absolutely beyond all doubt
& could not possibly be denied or challenged. It was nerve-racking
Cecil, to even go to him, & when he told me that after three years I could
probably obtain a divorce on the grounds of desertion & cruelty, I - well -
I just didn't know what to say or do. The prospect of facing all the
publicity & unpleasantness did not appeal, & even less, the thought of what
Paul, my small son, might have to suffer through it when he is old enough to
understand. The action I took raised a furore amongst my relatives &
in-laws & I had rather an awful Christmas. The result was that without my
asking for it, the whole of the money, which was considerable, that my
husband had taken from me was promptly paid into the bank again - which
wiped out one claim I had. He then came over to Radcliffe himself at
Christmas & pleaded with me. I really don't know why. We have
been virtually separated for so long, that I cannot see what difference it
would make to settle the thing legally & fairly. But I am now so
heartsick & tired that I just feel I don't care about anything. I am
worn out with criticism & threat & letters & feel that I shall give in at
any moment & ? the whole thing. It is also costing me rather a lot in
solicitor's fees which I can ill afford. Dear Cecil, if you have any
heart, please write me - even a line - just to let me feel that you are my
friend. The only person who has stuck by me in all this is my eldest sister,
Muriel. You never met her. She is ten years older than I am & has
always mothered me & championed me. She says she will stand by me & testify,
if necessary, because once she stayed here with me & saw me rather badly
abused, when my baby was just a few months old, & she has never forgiven or
forgotten it. Is it disloyal of me to reveal these things? I feel it must
sound disloyal. I am being pulled so many ways at once - first, by a sense
of duty, & then by unhappiness & a desire to escape it, & then by
loneliness, & then by all the voices of my in-laws raised against me, saying
that I have never understood Freddy, to which I reply that they caused the
whole trouble by spoiling him with too much money? - which is true - & then
by a desire to be kind & loyal & to do the right thing, & then I wonder if I
should forgive & forget, even though there are some things which hurt so
dearly that I know quite well I shall never forget. And then, of
course, there is Paul. I wonder how it will effect him latter in life. A boy
needs more than a mother's love. Paul needs it now, as a matter of
fact. He is an intelligent child, but very strong-willed. Sometimes I feel
very frightened of the future. In fact, I feel frightened pretty well all
the time - not of struggle & security, because I can work to support both
Paul & myself - but just frightened. I wish I were a man - I am sure a
man wouldn't feel so weak & defenceless! I think of you a lot, Cecil,
& even pray that you think of me a little. Do you mind? I do pray that, very
often, & have done so for years. Perhaps I shouldn't tell you this,
but it is quite, quite time I began to pray that you shouldn't forget me
only a month after I was married. I remember the day quite well, and the
very moment when I first realised how badly I wanted to see you & how
ghastly I feel when I had to face the fact that I should never see you again
- perhaps never hear from you again. I had been married four weeks.
You will never know how much I have wanted you & thought of you since we
said goodbye. I hope you will forgive me for telling you all this.
Yours, Rona
     
   
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1) 28th January 1944 - Postmark Belfast to Sub-Lieut (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - 140 King's Road, Belfast
Thursday 27.1.44 My Dearest, Your letter came this morning, I cannot
see Darling what you are trying to tell me, asking me not to worry when you
know that I can do nothing else. What are you trying t say - that things
will never be any different for us and that you would rather stay away than
face any heartbreaks. Darling you are not being true to yourself or to
me, you are unhappy, for every word in your letter and yourself speaks
unhappiness, you are torn between so many things and are trying to please
too many people. I know you have your duty to fulfil and I admire you
for it Cecil, but there is a length to what can be called duty, there is a
time when it can go too far and a person can be too selfish. I am the
last person in the world Darling and you know that only too well, who would
ask you to neglect or leave any relation whom you liked, but when your Aunt
has been so unreasonable to you and only you know to what extent that
unreasonableness has gone, - not just this time alone but every other -
it is too much to ask of anyone. I have forgiven her everything for your
sake Cecil Dear and have tried not to remember the things she said, but when
it still goes on so that we are afraid even to be seen together, afraid of
being with each other - when each time might be the last - it is so hard to
bear. Our lives are uncertain, mine as well as yours Darling, but that
is no reason why we should not have our happiness while it is ours to grasp.
How much more worth while life would be, no matter what loneliness or
hardship followed, if we had even the smallest ray of pure happiness.
Time brings changes Dearest, we have got to take our chance while we can,
you and I are living on our memories of Yesterdays and our hopes for
Tomorrows but somehow we have never got the chance of enjoying Today while
it is here. What can we do Dearest? I see from your letter you
do not wish things to be different from what they have been - just a few
stolen minutes then months of waiting, of nothingness, then another
heartbreak. Staying away next leave will only prolong your misery
Darling, for the first time you come home it will be a repetition of
everything before. The only other way out Dearest is for you to come back to
72, go to see your Mother and Aunt S. too and all whom it is your duty to
visit and forget all about me, it should be easier for you now that you are
away from Milverton, that at least will please your Aunt and perhaps give
you the peace of mind you want. Is that what you want to say Dearest?
I love you Darling, if I did not, I would tell you to do your duty and let
this be the end of everything between us, yet I understand how you feel.
How much better Dearest we could get out of this muddle if we were together
for a little, talking is so much easier than writing, if only I knew what
you mean, your letter has made me so unhappy. I am willing to make
sacrifices and I would stand against the whole world because I love you but
how am I to know that you feel the same way when you write like this. You
must not let selfishness ruin your happiness Darling, this cannot go on
forever and you will have to act sometime but I begin to think that you do
not wish to do this. It is not fair for us to have to come through
this Dearest you especially when you are facing so much danger but I had to
say this to you I must know what you mean Cecil. Don't be afraid to
tell me in plain words. I know the last year has been anything but
nice for you, for myself the only thing that has given me courage to go on
has been the happiness that you have given me, I could face anything with
you Dearest, yet when I read your letter, and I have read it over and
over again, it seems to me as though you do not care. My Darling I can
say no more, it has pained me so much to write even this and yet how long it
will seem before I get your reply. Don't stay away from your home because
you think that I expect to see you when you come, you govern your own life
and if my heart breaks Dearest surely is can mean nothing to someone who
does not love me. Forgive me Cecil Dear but you have put so plainly
that there are others that you place before me and it is there that your
duty lies. My Dearest if only I could talk with you I am afraid of
misunderstanding through this letter but I had to write I am so unhappy. God
bless you always, All my love Darling, Sheila (kisses)
2) 31st January 1944 Postmark Belfast to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - 140 King's Road, Belfast
Sunday evening 30-1-44 My Dearest, The end of another week my
Darling and it has been such a miserable one for me after reading your
letter. I cannot bear to think of you not coming home next leave and yet -
but of course Dearest I have said all this in my last letter. You will never
know Cecil Dear how much joy and happiness you have given me, maybe at times
it was sweet mixed with 'bitter', someone to think about and to look forward
to see, and going much, much deeper than that someone to love. I wonder did
you get my letter yet, the one I asked you to come in imagination for our
favourite walk. I will be thinking of it Dearest and going with you hand in
hand, life is so worth while when I know you are thinking of me. It was like
Spring here today and I felt so like a good walk, but with no 'you' or even
Darkie I just stayed at home, it was my weekend off. No news Dearest
everything is as usual here. Aunt is posting something to you in the morning
and after all was sealed she remembered not having thanked you for the Xmas
present. She is going to do so the next time she writes, it was lovely
Darling and so good of you to remember her. I must finish Cecil, take good
care of yourself and Darling it will seem ages and ages before I hear from
you, I cannot bear to think how long it will be. God bless you my precious
Darling I am thinking of you always. My love is all yours Sheila (kisses)
P.S. It is nearly nine o'clock Darling, how I wish you were really here and
waiting for me.
  
 
   
  
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1) 13th February 1944 - Sub/Lieut. (E) C. A. Duke, R.N.R. Sorry, but this is
the only envelope I have & is a trifle dirty, yes! sure it is! Love K. -
Sunday 6.30 pm My Darling Lover, I am afraid it is your unlucky week,
as no-one came for your binoculars today, so am sending them with Margery
when she calls tonight. Well dearest, you have never been out of my
thoughts for one single minute today, & have been going over in my mind the
wonderful time we had together yesterday, every single moment was so
precious & wonderful, & that day will live in my mind for ever
February 12th 1944 you are such a darling Cecil, & so unselfish, you
are always thinking of my happiness, & how you cam please me dear!
Thanks a million times for the lovely present you gave me last night too. It
will still be there when you call & see me in years to come. Surely we will
be together one day dearest, & a home like ours would never die, at least
mine won't anyway, & I am quite sure after last night that yours won't
either. It was so sweet of you Cecil my beloved to make me so happy on
our last evening alone together, as I know how sad & miserable you must have
felt, but will try & make up for it one day in the near future I ? of
gorgeous is only I didn't love you so much things would be alot easier but I
am really scared of meeting A???? tomorrow. I sincerely hope dearest
that you won't be away by next Sunday, & that you will come to No. 14, I now
& understand what I am asking you to do dear, but you see pet I must see you
somehow before you go, & that seems to be the only possible way, but if you
really feel as though it will be too much for you darling I will understand.
oh Cecil, if you only knew how happy you have made me & my love has grown
deeper & deeper every time I have seen you, & as time goes by, that love
will remain. I have just finished doing all the house work, & I feel
really worn out & tired, but am going to start & bake now. How I wish
you could have come up to see me tonight beloved, & every night for that
matter, but I hope that we will be together for always one of these days.
Well sweetheart, here's wishing you all the very very best of luck, & may
God look after you & keep you safe, an angel or saint as? if? heaven dear
could never be as kind & dear as you have been to me. Hoping you
aren't feeling too miserable, & please Cecil dearest, do go out while you
are here & enjoy yourself. I would be jealous if I saw you with anyone else
dearest, but will understand & life must go on. So will say not
goodbye dearest, but just Cheerio till we meet again, love you with all my
heart, ever yours Kathleen x
2) 13th February 1944 - Postmark Belfast to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A. Duke,
R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" c/o. G.P.O., London - 523 Antrim Road,
Belfast 1st February 1944 Dear Cecil, I called at Aunt Fanny's
for Reeds "Mathematics For Marine Engineers." She hadn't got it and said
that you didn't leave it out to be called for or say anything about it. As I
am going to sea myself in July, could you let me have it? At home we
are all very well. I am just in after being out on my 19th sea trial.
Billy is back at his job and has an office to himself. I will close
now as I am feeling a bit tired. Don't forget about the book.
Your loving brother, Percy.
3) 19th February 1944 - Postmark Belfast to Sub-Lieut (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - Milverton, 140 King's Road,
Belfast Saturday 19-2-44 Cecil Dearest, Your letter of
14th came yesterday, how nice it is to hear from you Darling, the mails seem
to be much quicker coming and going than they used to be. I would have
written last night but Aunt and I went to the Ritz and came home rather
late, it was a lovely picture; 'Now, Voyager.' I am not going on duty
until 1 pm today, so what better way could I spend my few spare minutes than
writing to you, my Dearest. The cake will be on its way to you on
Monday, I baked it yesterday afternoon before we went out, it was rather a
scramble to get enough time, but I made it immediately I came home and had
it in the oven before I had lunch, it takes 3 hours to cook, you would not
think that to look at it. I hope it is good Darling, I am sorry there
is nothing else to go in the parcel, everything is rather short at the
moment. There are no sweets left but maybe we will have some soon, I
think I will pop in some blades just in case you are short. What a
pity you had to sell the 'set' though, I suppose you were too busy to have
time to listen in. Thanks for telling me about Spencers, I think it is
better to let Vera take it wherever she likes, then nothing can be said
afterwards, these wireless people seem to charge awful prices at least when
they fixed Mr. F's, the bill was exhorbitant, but of course that was a
different firm. I am glad you liked the Valentine Darling, I was
hoping you would receive it in time. I am still counting the days away Cecil
Dear and longing for you to be back again, it is all I can think of Darling,
it cannot be too soon. God bless and keep you always. All my love my
Dearest, Sheila (kisses)
4) 23rd February 1944 Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., E.R. 3409, c/o T.I.C. Percy Main, North Shields - Tuesday 9 pm
My Dearest Darling, I do hope you won't mind me writing to you & if you do,
please forgive me dear, but I feel as though I must as you are never out of
my thoughts for one single moment, & I just can't get you out of my mind, no
matter how I try, & you feel closer to me Cecil when I write to you dear.
I am so sorry also darling if I annoyed you by asking if I may see you on
Wednesday, I hope you did not think I was trying to force my attentions on
you. I merely asked John if you were free if you would care to see me, but
knowing how many engagements you will have, I might have known better, only
I am longing with all my heart to see that darling face of yours once again,
even just to look at you would be something as you know how I used to love
just sitting watching, & admiring you dearest, or have you forgotten???
I do wish Cecil my beloved you would drop me a line care of Margery, & tell
me if you don't wish to hear from me any more, or if I may still go on
writing to you darling. I understand as you have told me before, you don't
want to play second fiddle, but you knew I was married when I first went out
with you darling, & could I help falling madly in love with you? I
cried so much last week Cecil, I don't think I have a tear left & Arthur?
can't understand me at all, in fact no-one can, or ever will, but you dear,
& you know why I am so sad & unhappy; now don't start & tell me it is my own
fault, because I know, & am just being punished. We were invited out
tonight but as I don't feel too well, Artur? has gone to explain, & give my
apologies. oh Cecil my darling, do wrote to me, even if it is just to
tell me you want nothing more to do with me. I will understand. I am not as
heartless as you think, I am really & trooly. It is very deceitful of
me I know to keep on writing to you, & loving you so much but Cecil darling
try & understand, I can't help myself, & you are right under my skin.
Could you & would you sweetheart try & manage to see me on Sunday afternoon
when Artur? is on the ship. It is terrible of me to ask you Beautiful
I know, but I love & adore you as much dearest I can't help myself.
Are you going to Peggs on Sunday evening? you are invited you know??
Please darling try & understand & forgive me for asking you, but do write to
me care of Margerys, there's a darling, even if you want to tell me to go to
h----. I will see your hand writing which is something. Hoping to hear
from you, Loving you with all my heart, Ever your own darling Gorgeous x
      
  
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1) letter written 29th February 1944 - Postmark unclear Nottingham to Sub.
Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince", c/o G.P.O., London - (a
wooden lolly? stick inside the envelope) - My dear Cecil, Your silence
is significant - it tells me that you do not wish to continue writing to me
& I quite understand. I should like to apologise for any embarrassment
my personal affairs may have caused you. I can only conclude that you
have decided to believe things about me & which I can only say are not true.
I cannot say more than that. The day after I last wrote to you I -
stupidly - dropped down in a state of exhaustion while preparing breakfast
for Paul. The woman I have to come & clean odd mornings was there
luckily, & sent for the Dr., who had me put to bed at once & a wire sent to
my sister. I tried to get up next day & promptly fainted. It all
sounds foolish & dramatic, I know, but I have slept & eaten so little since
the beginning of Dec. that I suppose a breakdown like this was inevitable.
I think the last three years have worn me out. I am now feeling much
better & got up last Saturday for the first time. Last night I had my
first night of really natural sleep & feel now that I shall have no more
need of the dr's sleeping pills. My sister is still with me & insists
that she is going to stay until I can face being alone again. I want
you to know that my husband has told me about writing to you. He came
over to see me when he heard I was ill. I could not talk to him, but
he told me he was bitterly sorry for many things & asked me to forgive him.
He went on, then, to tell me that if I would not agree to drop all legal
proceedings against him he would endeavour to drag in your name, somehow, &
make things unpleasant for you. (This, at least, should prove that
there is no other man he can even associate with me, if he has to resort to
one I have not seen for over 5 years & only exchanged a few letters with
during the months we have been living apart.) Being as ill as I was,
however, he frightened me, I was shocked at the thought of you being hurt
through me. He told me then, about writing to you - I did not reveal
that I already knew - but he did not say what he had written about, simply
that he had written you "some time ago, hoping, he said, "to put him off"
He also said that if I would drop all action against him which would affect
his reputation in is profession (although I can't see that) he would return
to me the two snapshots of you, which, apparently, were the only tangible
"evidence" - if you can cal it such - that he had. He had no letters,
just your two photographs. He gave me further assurance that if I
agrees to what he asked, he would never again hurt me physically &, if I
wished he would not even come near me unless I wanted him to. He would
not tell me what things he had put in his letter to you - he simply admitted
that he had "done his damnedest to put you off me." I believe, after
all, he succeeded & that is just something I must accept, even though it
hurts. I know that his possession of two snapshots of you could not
have proved anything damaging Cecil, but backed by some trumped-up story he
could have made things unpleasant & embarrassing for you - even dragging in
your name could have done that. I couldn't bear it. You would
have hated me. I was terribly upset. I'll cut all this short by
telling you that I received the two snapshots of you by post last week.
That should tell you a lot. I only hope you don't put a wrong
interpretation upon it. I wanted them for two reasons - one, because
they are of you and, two, because in my possession they cannot possibly hurt
or embarrass you. I shall now just go on living here with Paul - if
not free, at least alone &, I hope, in peace! After all, freedom could
not make much difference to me, for I doubt, as you suggest, I should marry
again! Happiness in marriage is not for me. I can only, finally,
apologise for everything & for embarrassing you with my private affairs &
for being a nuisance with letters. I turned to you at a time when I needed a
friend & confidante & there was no-one else, because I wanted to hide so
much from my relatives - pride, I suppose. Do forgive me for
everything, & for getting in touch with you again, but you see, I have
always kept your letters, written in December 1938, in which you said that
if I ever needed a friend, I would always have one in you. I took you
at your word. The letter is now locked in my desk with your two
photographs, & will always be. I want you to know that I understand
your silence & your decision not to write to me. I said last time that
I would not bother you again, but I wanted you to know the foregoing facts.
I wish you every happiness, always. I mean this, Cecil, very, very deeply,
Rona (no mention in the letter what the piece of wood was for)
2) 2nd March 1944 Postmark Harrogate, Yorkshire to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., ER 3409 c/o T.I.C., North Shields - Thursday My ? Dearly
Beloved, I wonder if you arrived back to the ship OK on Monday morning. It
seemed so ridiculous me being so jealous of you dear with Margaret, but
never-the-less I was & always will be. I had a terrible row with Arthur? on
Monday morning, he will tell you all about it darling one day. How I
wish you had been here with me gorgeous, it reminds me so much of York &
what a wonderful time together, I will never have a happier time I am sure,
& I think has spoilt me for ever enjoying myself again. oh Cecil my
darling I do love, adore & worship you so much, I don't know how I am going
to exist without you. Do you still love me? I wonder. Believe it or
not dearest, but Arthur thought you were a real grand fellow, which I
naturally confirmed. Of only he knew. How would Margaret & you like to
join us in the Eldon on Saturday night, I am longing to see you so very much
Cecil, & although I have tried to be as pleasant as possible this week,
really feel as miserable as sin. I love you, love you & love you with all my
heart. Ever yours Kathleen x
  
  
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1) 9th March 1944 Postmark Belfast to Sub-Lieut (E) C. Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S.
Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O. London - 140 King's Road, Belfast
Wednesday evening 8.3.44 My Dearest, Your letter came this
morning, how can I tell you Cecil what I have felt like these two long weeks
since I last wrote to you. Just miserable and to finish me off I have had a
rotten cold and am still hoarse, I managed to keep at work but sometimes I
felt more like lying down. Poor Dear you are having a very busy time
and must be glad to snatch any rest you can. Believe me Darling, even though
I did not write there was not a single minute that I did not think of you or
pray for you. I could not forget you Cecil but I have been worried, what
else could I do? when there is no understanding between us and you wrote
those things. Darling do not ever say again you are not worth what I
think of you, as long as we both think the world of each other what more do
we want. I wish you were coming instead of writing Cecil, we have so
much to say to each other, but I will be waiting for your letter just as
every day I have waited for this one. Take good care of yourself
Dearest and write soon again. my love Always Sheila (kisses)
2) 13th March 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" Co. G.P.O., London 'I'm
Thinking of You Today' from your ever loving Kathleen x
    
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1) 13th March 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" c/o G.P.O., London - Sunday
3-30 pm March 12th 1944 My Dear Beloved, Remember me? I am the
girl who loves, adores, & worships you with all my heart, & am just
wondering where you will be now, & what you will be doing, believe it or not
dearest, but you have never been out of thoughts since I left you Thursday
afternoon 5-15 pm. Sitting here this afternoon reminds me of the
wonderful Sundays we have had together, I would just be setting off now to
meet you at the Saturn? Hotel for tea, & then we would be coming home to
have a wonderful evening together beside the fire, oh dearest, they were
such marvelous days, weren't they? & I will never forget any of the times we
had together. In my last letter darling I think I forgot to thank you
for the lovely book & cigarettes you so kindly gave me, you were always
thinking of my little wants & pleasures & trying to please me dear, no
wonder I love you so much. I have never known anyone so kind & loving as you
my sweet & remember I go in the house every time is something you have given
me, in the hall, the kitchen, & the 2 marvelous plaques in the dining room
of York & Durham, they are just heavenly, my watch, bag, & even the pen I am
writing with, oh Cecil darling, you are so wonderful, & you have made me so
happy, although at times I feel very morbid & bad knowing I am not really
yours dear, but the day may come yet, & I will never give up hope, although
actually sweetheart it isn't fair to you I know, but I want you to know
Cecil dear that if ever you feel you don't or can't go on like this & don't
want to write to me, I will understand but will go on loving you beautiful
for ever & ever. I had a letter from Arthur on Saturday saying he was
coming home on Monday evening not Tuesday, but Kay came round this morning
to tell me, & he had phoned to say he wouldn't be home, as he is going on a
special course down to Kent for a fortnight or 3 weeks, so it is just as
well, as I couldn't possibly get off work again, & I feel quite happy on my
own, it is a terrible thing to say I know, but you understand why, darling!
I met Cathie? & Kay yesterday afternoon & we had tea at Tillys but it too
brought back many many sweet memories, every where I go darling keeps on
reminding me of the sweetest & dearest boy I love so much. I have
never seen Margery since last Tuesday night & she has never been down to see
me & as far as she knows I have never seen you pet, & she knew how upset &
broken hearted I was so am beginning to think you were right about what you
said, she wasn't a very sincere pal. I was ever so delighted to
receive your sweet letter on Saturday morning, you have no idea the thrill I
get when I see your handwriting, & you write such wonderful letters, & I
feel as though I never want to part with them, & I keep on reading them over
every day, & it gives me such a happy feeling after reading them over.
Cathie? is coming up for tea today, how I wish it had been you darling, oh!
for one of those nights of love. I did not realize what love actually meant
gorgeous until I met you, & now I am missing it so much, & want you more
than ever. oh Cecil you do realize what you mean to me don't you dear??? if
only I had the heart to break away, but I am such a coward, I haven't the
nerve. We all went to the Old Assembly Rooms last night, but I refused
to dance with anyone, more than once, & Cathie? or Cartie? & Kay couldn't
understand me refusing dances, but no-one can understand me now, only you my
darling, & I feel since you know every part of me. (on second thought
dear send all letters to Margerys, she has just been down 10.30 pm.) 4
p.m. Well my precious the Smarts children have just been down with a note
from you dated Fri. 10 a.m. no message from Margery or anything, so I am
wondering how she received it! & whether John has written to her or what,
but she seems to have been long enough in giving it to me, as she couldn't
have possibly had it sent today, not never? mind? Thanks a million
times dearest, it was sweet of you to remember me when you would be so busy,
but it is just like you sweetheart, you always think of other people,
especially me before yourself, & I love you all the more for it.
Cathie is here now, writing to her husband, but she doesn't know who I am
writing to pet, she might get a shock if she was to read this letter, but
actually my precious I don't care who knows, I love & adore you. I feel as
though I want to stand on the roof tops & shout it out, crazy aren't I.
Well Beautiful, I do hope to hear from you sometime soon, & if you like you
can send an occasional letter to 14 putting Mrs. Law/Low c/o Mrs. Hudson? or
Henderson? it ? it quite safe & mother won't mind. So thinking of you
Always dearest & loving you with all my heart, Ever your own darling
Kathleen (kisses)
    
  
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1) 15th March 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" c/o G.P.O. London - Tuesday March
14th 1944 Cecil my Beloved Darling, It seems years & years since last
Thursday when I said Goodbye to you dear on Newcastle station, & I wish I
knew where you were now. I was hoping there would be a letter today for me,
but no such luck. I keep calling at Margerys every morning just in case.
Margery came down to see me about 10.30 p.m. on Sunday evening, just when I
was going to bed, she stayed until 1 AM. We sat talking about all the
marvelous times we had had together, right from the first day of meeting you
darling & when she first met Jock. Do you remember the night you all stayed
dearest before Valeries broadcast & how you sent me a wire in case I slept
in. I shall never forget the thrill I got when I received that wire, it was
so like you my precious & I will never forget you for it. I am missing you
more & more my beautiful & am just living for the day when I will see you
again. I had never heard our song for such a long time Cecil, but whenever
they play "Kiss me, kiss me again my darling" I want you to think of me then
my sweet because that is what I am just waiting for, one of these marvelous
wonderful kisses of yours dear, which send a thrill right through me, you
are such a dear boy & I love & adore you dearest, far far far more than
ever. Margery & I were wondering if you weren't too far away, if we
would possibly manage to come where you are for a week-end, it would be
heavenly dearest but something tells me you are right out in the deep ocean
now, & it will be a long time before I will see that sweet & dear face of
yours again, with those laughing Irish eyes. I was wondering sweetheart if
you had been here & had any leave if you would have been able to go home, as
they have now stopped all permits to Ireland, as I expect you will have
heard all the news. I have missed you Cecil darling, more than you will ever
know & life seems so empty without you dearest. I got so used to always
being with you & having you by my side wherever I went. It was so marvelous
having you with me & your friendships kindness love & company made me such a
different person Cecil & I want to thank you dear from the bottom of my
heart for all you have done for me during the past 16 months. They will live
in my memory for ever. Have you missed me dear? I wonder, yes!
gorgeous, somehow I think you will have & in a way I hope you have, oh
darling, if only I could leave everything & come to you, I would be the
happiest girl on earth, but I feel very flattered & honoured dearest to
think that you still love me, & will always be my dearest friend in spite of
everything, & I shall always always love you & want you Cecil, if I live to
be a thousand. Kay, Cathie?, Mrs. Blackers from the office & myself,
have all got our seats booked for the Empire for Thursday evening to see
"Black Vanity?" This is the 3rd week it has been retained dear as they say
it is a marvelous show, how I wish you were coming with me pet, do you
remember all the lovely times we have had together at the Empire & I always
felt so proud to be with you darling. Well beautiful, this is my 4th
letter since you went away, & hope you dont think I am writing too often,
but I feel so much happier & nearer to you darling when writing, so hope you
don't mind. Do try & drop me a line soon, just to let me know you are
quite fit & well, & thinking of me sometimes. Remember you are forever in my
thoughts & heart & will remain there for ever. Take care of your
darling self & remember I love adore & worship you. Thinking of you always,
ever your own adoring lover Kathleen. I love you (in kisses)
2) 15th March 1944 - Postmark Belfast to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. "Southern Prince" G.P.O., London - Milverton, 140 King's Road,
Belfast Wednesday 1 p.m. My Dearest Cecil, Hope all is well with
you Darling, I have not yet received the long letter you promised me but you
can guess how much I am looking forward to it. There is nothing new
here to tell you, I suppose you have read all about the 'border' fuss there
is at the moment. I wonder will they let the Services come across for
leave, it would be awful Darling if you were stuck over there and not able
to come home. We see so little of each other as it is Dearest without
anything else coming to upset us. I cannot tell you how long these
past ten weeks have been for me and the prospect of you not coming for leave
is more than I can bear. Though we must just hope for the best Dearest and
struggle through somehow. I am thinking of you always Cecil Dear but
how I wish we could see each other soon, I get so lonely Darling and I just
cannot help it. God bless you and jeep you. My love Always Dearest, Sheila
(kisses)
      
29th March 1944 Postmark Belfast By Air Mail to Sub-Lieut. (E) C.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - Milverton, 140
King's Road, Belfast Tuesday night 18-3-44 My Dearest Cecil,
After so long your letter arrived this morning Cecil, I cannot tell you what
I have felt like ever since I opened it, just that my whole world, my
everything has toppled in a heap, all that I have been living for, for
nearly two years now. You expect me not to write again Cecil, how do you
think I can do that, without one thought, without knowing whether you are
happy or not. From your letter you seem anything but happy yet what is it
that is keeping you from what you want? I feel there is so much more that
you have not told me. I seem to have made you miserable and hurt you with my
letters, I never realised that Dearest. I do not want to penalise you these
days by asking you to settle down now, but you know Cecil Dearest I will
wait for you however long the time, but Darling you must tell me if you want
it to be like that, there must be some understanding between us. It can be a
secret between ourselves and not another soul on earth need know. Cecil you
asked me not to ask your reason for what you said, I would not dream of
prying, but is it something your Aunt has said or is doing to you? or is
there somebody else, someone that you think more of? don't be afraid to tell
me Dear, you are unhappy, I know it and so am I, so don't let us keep
anything from each other. You want us to remain loving friends. Cecil
Dear I could never share you with anyone, I love you too much to bear that -
as long as you love me alone, I will love you always through anything. Yet
you seem to think that my love for you is something I can forget easily,
something that I can transfer to someone else. Oh! Cecil how little do you
know how very much I love you. All these long months I have remained true to
you, as I promised, and have refused the companionship of several people who
have wanted to take me out. I have never regretted refusing them because I
lone only you because I knew that you loved me too; and what after all were
a few lonely weeks when I knew you would be coming home to me. Cecil I can
say nothing the decision rests in your hands to do whatever you want, don't
think of me, only be true to yourself for your happiness counts before
anything else. If you want me to wait for you, everything can be as it
always has been - and wherever you go or however long you are away nobody
shall ever take me from you, not even death shall separate us - but Darling
if this must be the end of everything between us, if there is someone else,
I can do nothing but bear my sorrow and my broken heart alone. I do not
blame you Cecil but rather bless you for bringing some happiness into my
life, for those happy, happy hours we spent together can never be erased
from my memory. Will this be my last letter to you if only I could know now
instead of days of suspense and waiting, Darling what is it to be? If it is
the end and you want to forget me, do not ask me to forget you for that
would be impossible and if I were to send back your photos and your letters
- for I have treasured every one - forgive me Cecil, it is only that I could
not bear to look at them, the reminders of our happiness together, As it is
I am writing in front of yours now and I cannot keep the tears from my eyes,
my heart is truly broken tonight. There is so much I could say to you but I
cannot beat to write more now if only you were here to comfort me. Think of
me Cecil a little bit, if only in memory of those Summer days together, we
were so happy then, surely if we were together at this minute we could be as
happy now. God bless and keep you always. Forgetting you never my Dearest
Darling, Sheila (kisses) P.S. There was no enclosure in your letter so
I could do nothing about it. The letter was censored by the Post Office.
Censors No.: was 2715, that is if you want me to do anything about it, was
it an important letter? Only yesterday I bought a dozen packets of
Caperns seed for poor dear Percy, it cost 15/6 so I suppose I had better
post it to you. Sheila
    
   
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1) 3rd April 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" G.P.O., London - 10 pm Sunday April
2nd My Darling, Being Sunday, you have never been out of my thoughts
for a single moment so though I would end the day by dropping you a few
lines. I many be wasting my time dear I know, as you may not even bother to
read it but I like writing to you darling, feel a lot happier somehow, as
though I was talking to you. I was up at Margerys this afternoon, the
first time I have been for ages as I dont bother to ask about you now Cecil,
as she only makes me fearcely jealous & really hurts me. I did ask her
a few weeks ago to give you my love when she wrote to you, but whether she
did or not I really dont know, however dear she told me today about the
sweet & loving notes she sent you, & how jealous John would be if he could
read them, apparently darling she also told you how happy I am, I asked her
how the hell she knew when she rarely saw me as she appears to be hurting
you Cecil, in the same manner as she hurt me when you were going around with
Margaret, so just believe what she tells you sweetheart. Since coming
from Margerys have had a real good cry & now I feel a little better &
writing to you dear does me good, so dont be annoyed with me, & as I have
told you before Cecil you dont have to reply, & you are pleasing Margery by
not writing to me, so you are doing somebody some good. I love you
Cecil darling, as much as I ever did, & it will always be that way, whatever
you think, yes dear always always always until I die, & nothing will ever
change my love for you ever, no matter how happy I pretend to be, you are
always at the back of my mind & your sweet face comes before me & no matter
how I try, nothing will remove it. It has been raining & snowing
today, & this afternoon I just pictured you coming round for tea & us both
settling down beside a roaring fire, how I wish you had been coming today, &
making love to me in the true Irish fashion, love which only you beautiful
know how, & I only know of, oh darling, if only I could see you, or hear
that wonderful voice of yours again, but as you say Cecil, what would be the
use. You will never know Cecil dearest, just what I have gone through & dont
suppose you even care now as you think I have let you down so badly, but you
know beloved I never wanted to hurt you, or be hurt in the way we have been,
but I do blame myself entirely, as I should never have gone out with you
previously, knowing I was married, so suppose this is my punishment, but am
sorry to think you have suffered too with my selfishness. Mother is
coming on Wednesday & she wishes to be remembered to you dear in her letter
of yesterday, & hopes God will keep you safe. She also mentioned you in her
letter on Wed. when Arthur? was home on 24 hrs. leave, & he was very anxious
to know who Paddy was, & I told him it was a friend of mothers, which is
perfectly true I hope. Well dearest, I think I will retire now to
dream of the sweetest & dearest boy in all the world known by the name of
"beautiful" So will say goodnight Cecil darling & God bless you, with all my
love, ever your own sad & adoring Kathleen xxx (I Love You in x's)
2) 18th April 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" G.P.O., London - Sunday 10 pm
My Dearest Cecil, I keep on hoping there may be a letter from you
dear, but no such luck, however I never despair. Well darling I wonder where
you are & what you will be doing with yourself, going out with some nice
blonde I presume, but it is just as well I don't know. I am still
frightfully jealous of you, you know Cecil believe it or not. Kay & I
went down to Leeds at Easter & had quite a nice time. They have bands in
nearly all the pubs & Hotels there, so I sent a request for them to play
"Our Tune" I wonder if you still remember what it is dear, or if you have
forgotten, no ---- since you haven't! A???? told all the boys it
wasn't played for him - asked me all evening who I was with while they
played it, I wonder if you know darling, Well it was the dearest & sweetest
boy in all the world, an Irishman too. Oh Cecil dear, I still love you
as much as ever & would give my right arm to just see you. I often wonder if
you have changed at all darling, or if you have stopped loving me, sometimes
I get a feeling that you dont even think about me. Well I suppose I deserve
it. I wonder if you ever received Vals snaps & the toilet case. I hope
so anyway. I had a letter from my brother last week & he says Mary did not
reply to his letter, so I conclude she must be too upish to write to a
common Sgt., but he is probably quite as good as she is without the pips,
even though he does do the wrong thing sometimes, but then dont we all.
Margery tells me you were dancing dear last week, fancy you going to a dance
Cecil, things are looking up, wish I had been there too. There is a
friend of mine on the ? Power Board Cecil who says he could get me a
commission in the Wrens almost straight away, so am seriously thinking of
doing my stuff, as work at present is just getting me down. I was at
the office until 9 pm every night last week doing "pay as you earn", & feel
thoroughly fed up with everything in general. I should love to just pour out
my love to you sweetheart & tell you how much I think about you, but what is
the use darling, I dont suppose you would believe me, but it does cheer up
even when I just write to you, & you seem much nearer to me, so do hope you
dont mind me writing to you like this. Oh Cecil dearest I love you & want
you so much, if only I could see your beautiful, ? dear, kind, sweet face of
yours just haunts me day & night, & I have tried a million times to put you
right out of my mind altogether, but it is just impossible. Do you
still love me darling? Well even if you dont, it makes no difference, I
shall go on loving adoring & thinking of you till the end of my days. So
will say Cheerio for now & all the very best of luck. Ever your admiring
lover Kathleen (kisses)
    
    
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1) 17th May 1944 Postmark Nottingham to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. "Southern Prince" c/o G.P.O., London - Goldings, John's Road,
Radcliffe-on-Trent 16-5-44 - Dearest Cecil, I am sending your snaps
back to you at once in case they get mislaid here - such things are very
precious now, aren't they? I can't get hold of films at all to take snaps of
Paul, your little nephew is amazingly like you - especially in the snap
where he is standing with a walking stick on the ground before him, your
brother, not at all! I thought he was a captain in the army by the
way, living near, or in, Cardiff? Has he moved nearer you, or you near him?
I thought you were Newcastle Way, but the postmark now tells me nothing - &
I shouldn't ask anyway. I haven't time for a long letter at the moment, but
want to get this off at once - not so much for the snaps - but because you
mention something in your letter which horrifies me & I am more than anxious
to send an apology to you which should have been made years ago! Actually I
have absolutely no recollection of the incident you mention, but the very
thought that I could have been so abominably unkind & rude as to "tick you
off" about the clothes you were wearing, makes me run cold. I feel that no
apology & no words can ever ? it. I do beg your forgiveness - if you can
ever give it to me. You should have slapped my face, Cecil, I mean it, if
ever another woman or girl does such a thing to you, don't hesitate to give
her one, & don't think "a gentleman never strikes a lady", because you
wouldn't be slapping the face of a lady, believe me. Any girl who could say
what I apparently said, isn't worth tuppence, it appalls me to thing that I
could even have been so beastly & so ill-bred. As for being "a smart city
girl and you a country bumpkin" I beg you not to talk like that, Cecil -
please - to me, you were never that or anything like that. I was an
obnoxious little puz? & you were well rid of me. I ran hot & cold all over
when I read that paragraph of your letter. Dear Cecil, I do beg you to
forget the incident altogether - or if you cannot, do regard it as stupid &
unimportant, for clothes are not important to any great extent I think, & do
not brand a person. Moreover, people were all sorts of clothes in London and
all I remember is that I liked anything about you - your looks, appearance &
character more than I ever liked to show. As for that last unhappy Sunday in
1938 - I didn't like to think of it so much, it was one of misunderstanding
altogether. I remember going home & crying very ?, long into the night,
because I thought you were absolutely bored with me. I cried about a lot
more than that, though. I was most desperately in love with you always, but
was afraid to show it, because I felt - knew - that you didn't feel so about
me. Fond of me, yes - but passionate love, no. I was shy, I tried to
cover it up with a silly veneer of sophistication, which I thought was
smart, how childish I was! I didn't want you to know how much a cared,
because I thought the knowledge might embarrass you, & so humiliate me. I
felt utterly humiliated when you laughed at me - as you did - & said "you
surely didn't think Rona, that I could feel the same way about you, after
this time!" you said you had cared for me once, but, of course, didn't any
more, that you'd got over it. And you see, I had found out that I hadn't
"got over it", that I still felt the same way - & I admit now, when it
is too late, that I went to meet you that day - hoping. And went home
without a vestage of hope left. So I gave in & got married. That is
the very simple & honest truth, Cecil. I didn't particularly care what
happened to me. I wanted you, but felt you didn't want me - you'd laughed at
me - & no I didn't much care then, who had me. I did a rotten thing when I
married someone else - a rotten thing to him, I mean, although I was honest
& told him the truth, just how I felt. My Mother knew. She wanted me to go
through with it - you may remember my father's clerk - well, my late
father-in-law had helped us financially, my husband, too, & we couldn't
repay. He'd wanted to marry me for a long time & - well - why discuss it? I
did it & I've suffered for it - & it has changed me, inevitably, sometimes I
feel embittered, heart-sick, but in other ways much more human. My sense of
values has returned - clothes, position, a "nice" house - none of these
matter. Two rooms - or one, a bed-sitting room - can offer greater
happiness, with the right person, no matter where it may be. Goodbye
for now - will write a more cheerful letter next time - the fact that you
have been innoculated & vaccinated makes me wonder if it means you are off -
and I should so dearly like to see you again! My love to you, Rona
I hope this confession hasn't embarrassed you?
2) 1st June 1944 Postmark London W.1 to Sub. Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
H.M.S. "Southern Prince" G.P.O. London - Regent Palace Hotel, Piccadilly
Circus, London June 1st - My Dearest Cecil, I do want to thank you for
the lovely snaps & letter enclosed, it was such a thrill hearing from you
again, & I think you look just as "beautiful" as ever, & I have fallen in
love with you all over again. I am staying down here on a weeks holiday, &
how I wish you were here with me, yes! sure I do Cecil, believe it or not. I
still love & adore you dear "far more than ever" in spite of what you say, &
always will yes! always, for ever & a day. I do hope you received my
photograph, I had it taken specially for you, as the other one was so
terrible. I keep wondering what part of the world you are in, & if you
ever think of me dear, & I sincerely hope you are safe & well. I would
love to hear from you occasionally darling, as apart from loving you the way
I do, I consider you my dearest & truest friend, if you will accept me as
that. I know you feel very bitter towards me Cecil, but put yourself in my
place darling & try & understand. I have kissed your snaps a thousand times
& shed many a tear about you dear, but what can I do??? Please do drop me a
line sometime, Mrs. Low c/o Mrs. Hudson - I would appreciate it so much.
Well dearest do take great care of your dear self, & remember you are
forever in my thoughts. Hoping to hear from you one day soon. Wishing
you all the very best of luck yours as always with all my love Kathleen x
     
   
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1) 6th June 1944 - Postmark Belfast to Sub-Lieut (E) C. Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S.
Southern Prince c/o G.P.O., London - Milverton, 140 King's Road, Belfast
Tuesday evening 16.5.44 My Dearest Cecil, Your letter of April
29th has just arrived Cecil after taking 17 days to come and arriving
exactly a week after the one you sent me on the 2nd of May. Darling
when I got that first letter a week ago, I could not understand why you said
so little to me and why you appeared not to answer anything that I had
written to you; I just could not believe it of you and I hoped against hope
that there was a letter which had got lost. You can guess how glad I was
when I opened this one and saw the date, I wonder why it took so long
coming, of course it had been opened by the censor, maybe that explains the
delay. Dearest, I have read the letter over and over again and I feel
so unhappy, so grieved because I have worried and upset you during these
troublesome times when you need so much to be happy and contented, yet I
need not tell you that I too have suffered during these weeks, I have
thought so much about what you have written and also about all the things
that we have talked about when we have been together and there is only one
answer that I can give you my Dearest, that is, when you come home, however
long it may be until then, we must have a good long talk. I realise it
may be some months until you get leave again, or until you are able to cross
over to Ireland but Cecil Dearest when I love you and know that with you,
there is no one else, I feel it is the right thing for us to do, when we
have been so happy together Dearest it is not for us to throw our happiness
away without a thought especially when so few people are blessed with such
happiness as we have known. Even though you say you are sort of
content as you are, I do not think it is selfish of you, it is just the
influences and uncertainties of war and of everything else that we are
coming through these days that make the idea of marrying a tying and
settling down business instead of a peaceful happy home with someone to love
you and take care of you. However Darling let us look forward to
seeing each other and sharing our joys and sorrows together as we have
always done, because some way or other I think we understand each other so
well. Don't forget Cecil you promised to call up and see me as soon as
you arrive in town, I will be looking out for you. And Darling, one
word more, whatever hard or difficult days lie ahead for you I will be both
thinking and praying for you. God bless. My Love Always Sheila
Will write again soon. Sheila (kisses) P.S. Posted a letter from
you to Aunt S. this evening, also one last week which Aunt took down to her.
= Milverton, 140 King's Road, Belfast Tuesday afternoon
6.6.44 My Dearest Cecil, Just a little note to say, may God bless you
throughout these coming days Cecil Dear, I will always be thinking of you
and praying that you will be kept safe. This is what we have all been
waiting for, for so long now, and things will not be easy for anyone.
So Cecil just remember my thoughts and prayers are with you. Good Luck
my Darling and God bless you. My Love Sheila (kisses)
2) 21st June 1944 - Postmark India On Active Service to Sub. Lieut. (E) C.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. Southern Prince, c/o G.P.O., London - English, P209286
Sister Scott - 52 I.G.H.(C) south East Asia Command 18.6.'44
Cecil Dear, Thank you so much for your cable, it was sweet of you to
remember my birthday, but didn't put "Nursing Officer", it is correct but I
hate it, just put "Sister Mary Scott" that is nicer isn't it? do you mind me
telling you? but I do loathe the other title so. Are you very busy
these days? I feel you are, you know. I haven't heard from you for ages, &
can hardly think it is because you don't want to write. I noticed that
the cable came from P'Mouth so feel you are again near when I saw such a lot
of you once upon a time. If you are ever in Southampton, give the "Polygon?
Hotel" my love, & whisper very guiltily that I like it very much because of
a very lovely evening, I try not to think of it all, it still makes me sad,
& one thing I can say, that never again in the whole of your life will you
be loved more than I did then. I don't think there is a single thing I
wouldn't have done for you, yes, you were loved, before everything - I could
never recapture that feeling, it was destroyed, but I do love Henry in a
different way, mind if it wasn't your fault that I was so crazy, but I
suppose we all go thro' that stage in our lives. I am hoping to get a
transfer from here soon & go wild for a while again, I'm afraid these remote
spots just don't suit me, & I do long for a spot of night life again.
I'll get home anyway soon & go to Calcutta for a fun day or two, I love it
there, a lovely Club, swimming pools, shops, nice clothes, and an adoring
Henry, what more could I have? except perhaps you!!! I'll hit the high spots
alright, after this seclusion. Now Cecil Dear 1. write soon, 2, keep
safe, 3 God bless. Love Mary
 
    
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1) 24th June 1944 - Postmark 25th June 1944 ? Base Post Office - On Active
Service Sub. Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince", c/o
G.P.O., London - English, Sister Scott - 52. I.G.H. (C) South East Asia
Command 24.6.'44 Cecil Dear, I got your cable & also your air letter
card of the 31st, thanks so much for them. No, Henry was not here for my
birthday, you know we are about five hundred miles apart. I celebrated that
day with lots of work. The convoys are still passing thru' so the th???
still goes on. Yes, I did get the 39-43 Star but I never wear it, we
call it the "sweeper Medal" here, all the hospital servants? wear it so I'll
wait for a more exclusive one!!! I'm so sorry that I discussed Henry
so much, won't do it again Cecil dear. I'm also pleased to hear you are not
jealous because I would make no secret of the fact that I am very jealous of
yours, but we always were different about that, weren't we? We are now in
the middle of summer & the heat is awful at times, the humidity is very
high, which makes me always feel exhausted, I so often wish for a nice cool
breeze, nothing to beat Ireland is there? I am so pleased to hear Jack
is happy, weren't you awfully envious of him? I think you should be married
too you know, loss of man power. I think, or is it!!! So you think the snap
is good, it was taken here but in the winter. I can wear a khaki shirt now,
& my bush skirt, it is too hot to wear a lot, I always wear slacks of
course!!! Our Matron was posted this week to H.Q. & we had a terrific
party for her. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, we are awfully sorry to lose her
as she was quite the best I have stuck? so far: I think she'll see we get
more help now, we have had lots of sisters off ill, which always leaves
extra work for the people on duty. I have been very lucky & had no illness,
but of course I wont talk too soon, there are heaps of mosquitoes all ready
to do their stuff. I expect you are busy now. I am so thrilled about the
second front: I do hope all will be finished quickly don't you? Do
keep safe anyway & remember that I still think of you (very often)
Love Mary (kisses)
2) 3rd July 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" G.P.O., London - 14 Guelder? Road
Sunday July 2nd 1944 My Dearest Cecil, I have ? putting off writing to
you, knowing how you dislike hearing from me, but am sorry I can't last out
any longer, as I must write & thank you for the wonderful photograph Cyril
sent me. I just can't describe to you dear how I feel when I first saw it, &
the tears just came to my eyes, foolish am I to let anyone have such an
effect upon me as you have Cecil. I have it in the dining room on the
sideboard right in front of me now & that sweet loving, kind, adorable face
keeps smiling at me I am sure, & wish the real person instead I often think
of the wonderful times we had together in this very room. I still feel
the same as ever about you darling, & always will, & oh Cecil I just want to
pour on my love to you, but what is the use, in the first place, you don't
believe me, secondly, you don't like hearing from me, & thirdly, you have
spoilt my whole life, not that I blame you at all darling for anything, I
only have myself to blame, & should never have gone out with you, or let
myself fall so madly in love with you dear, knowing I wasn't free to give my
love, but anyhow I have been well punished for it since. Thank you so
much for sending the field card dear, it was so heavenly seeing your
handwriting again & knowing you were safe & well. I got myself a job
in the Air Ministry in London when I was down, & let the flat furnished, &
had everything arranged to go, but have decided not to go yet Cecil owing to
the terrible raids London are having, as I am afraid I am rather a coward &
terribly scared, but Arthurs brother says the job still holds good for
whenever I feel like going down. I was at the Royal a week past
Saturday night with a Lieut. out of the Navy whom I met at the Oxford on the
Friday evening at the Merchant Navy Ball, he tried to persuade me all ways
to see him again, & give him my phone number, but darling you will
understand why I didn't, or you should anyway, although actually I haven't
the inclination to go on with anyone, he was particularly fed up that
Saturday. It was Valeries Birthday yesterday Cecil, she was 10, it
makes me feel quite old, I feel terribly worried about them dear, as I
haven't had a letter from Australia since February although have had the
usual monthly cable. Margery was talking to Margaret last week, & she
seemed delighted to tell me that Margaret had just had a letter from you
darling, or perhaps it was just my jealous mind. I wouldn't know.
Cyril sent me such a nice letter with the photograph dear, telling me of
your stay in Cardiff, I don't know what they must think of me though.
Anne was up north for a few days & wished to be remembered to you darling,
also Kay. She has left her husband by the way & stayed with me for a short
time, but is now living on West Jesmond with her Auntie, but Harold is
forever giving me call asking me about Kay, but have told him I want nothing
to do with their affairs at all, I have enough troubles of my own. oh
Cecil my dearest, how I do long to see you, & think about you, I have tried
so very hard to get you out of my mind, but it is absolutely impossible &
honestly & truly beautiful, it is still a case of far far more than ever, no
matter what you think of me or do to me, you can't possibly hurt me any more
Cecil than you have done, by completely ignoring me, & not wanting me even
as a friend, after all we meant to each other, (& you still mean to me).
I flatter myself darling, that you could possibly have stopped loving me
altogether, if you meant all the things you have said or written to me, but
you have a damned funny way of showing it, yes sure you do!! I have
just been reading through all your letters dearest, from the very first one
you sent me, when you went home on leave to Belfast, & the wire you sent me,
the morning of Valeries broadcast, & a thing which I will never forget you
for, there was only a person like your dear self would dream of doing such a
wonderful thing. Well dear I think I have given you all the news, &
thank you once again for letting me have a photograph. Wishing you all the
very very best of luck, yours, as always Kathleen x
  
 
     
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1) 29th July 1944 - Postmark Newcastle-on-Tyne to Sub. Lieut. (E.) C. A.
Duke, R.N.R., H.M.S. "Southern Prince" c/o. G.P.O., London - Same address,
Newcastle 7 28/7/44 Cecil My Darling, Thank you so much for your
two letters received last week, although one of them hurt me very much, I
was still ever so thrilled to hear from you. I am so sorry dear to
have upset & annoyed you so by writing, but will promise you now Cecil, on
my word of honour, that no matter how much I want to write or confide in you
this will be my last letter to you. I should hate to think that I was the
cause of spoiling your future happiness any more than I have done. I know
that one day you are bound to fall in love with someone else, if you have
not already done so. I am afraid I have never had the chance dear, to
tell you what happened between another & I but I swear I did my best, it
hasn't made life any too pleasant for me, however that is beside the point.
I can only tell you darling that I think I am doing the best both for your
sake & my own, even though I have to suffer, I can take it. I shall
always go on loving you & wanting you Cecil for ever & ever, & you will be
always in my thoughts dearest. I can honestly say my beloved that I
never knew what real love was until I met you, & I shall always think of our
love as something very sacred to me, & treasure the wonderful memories of
the times we had together, as you know Cecil & must realise I have never
been away with anyone before, or let them make love to me like I let you
dear & it was only my love for you make me do it, & I have never regretted
it yet or ever will. Well my beautiful I must say Goodbye now so
here's wishing you all the Best of Luck in the World & thank you dear for
Everything you have ever done for me, your kindness, understanding, & most
of all your love & I shall always think of you as the dearest, sweetest &
most loving Irishman in all the world. I do hope I may have the
pleasure of meeting you again one day, darling, or is that asking too much?
but anyway I am thankful I have your wonderful photograph to console me, &
kiss every night. So Goodbye Darling & may God Bless you & keep you
safe. Wishing you Every happiness ??? always with all my love Kathleen
2) 19th September 1944 - On Active Service Sub. Lieut. (E) C. Duke, R.N.R.,
72 Barnett's Road, Knock, Belfast, N. Ireland - English, Sister Scott - 52.
I.G.H. (C) South East Asia Command 19.9.'44 Cecil Dear, Received an
air letter & air letter card during the week from you, thanks so much, I do
like hearing from you. I had only just written to you, ship?, that was, &
also sent you that photo for what it was worth. You'll probably get them
sometime. Thank you so very much for sending mine along, but you really must
let me know the cost. I would like to pay for them. I have rather a rush of
conscience about the transaction you know!!! (covered) I went into
detail about my future. I'll not in this one, except to say that so far as I
know, I will get married in the New Year. Henry is awfully hopeful that we
will. I am not in a wild rush but I will this time, I think, it is time I
was settled, started my family. He is next in order for his major??? which
will increase the financial side considerably, it will be rather nice to be
a Memsahib & I shall be pleased to be Henry's. I have been given the
lovliest dog, a wee bit like your Darkie with long hair only my fellow is
pure white - he is a Naga? ? dog, he stays with me always & even sneaks a ?
sometimes with me: you see, I refuse mostly all invitations out, I don't
much like the s???? here and my dog much nicer. We have quite a few
V.A.D.'s to help us now, they seem very nice. I do hope you get your exam &
do give your ? my love. I hope she keeps very well. You didn't tell me that
you had cultivated a beard. I'm glad you have removed it, I like to remember
you as I knew you, I don't like the idea of a beard. Write me again & give
old Ireland my love. I so often think of it. Love - Mary x
3) (no date, from Mary, putting it here as above is last letter from Mary)
On Active Service c/o 140 Kings Road Passed by Censor to Sub. Lieut. C.
Duke, R.N.R., 18 Kingsway Park, Cherryvalley, Belfast, N.
Ireland M. E. Scott - South Africa stamp inside envelope with
letter - P209286 M. E. Scott, Sister Q A. IBWSIP? 47th General Hosp.,
Army Post Office 1730 Dear Cecil, Will you be very surprised to get
another letter - I suppose the last. You will probably guess that I am
now at sea, on the same journey that you have done very many times & in a
sister ship to your last. I am very comfortable & enjoying it very much.
This shipboard life I like, seems like a jolly good life, all day & every
day. 'Fraid I have forgotten your advice about the three? drinks.
Anyway it doesn't apply any more - I like it, I do. I'm feeling very
fit & have not been sea-sick when the others were feeling a bit like that
way I just felt unduly well. I have about completely recuperated from
that other thing called ? haven't forgotten you my dear, never shall, but
feel very different now, you were very wise & in retrospect I feel so stupid
& silly about it all. I have completely recovered, & met somebody
else. Very nice I can assure you & going to mean a lot as soon as
possible, you must not again feel anxious on my behalf, I don't suppose we
shall ever meet again, just now it seems impossible, but if you are ever
near, do tell me, I can promise you a very pleasant time on terms of
friendship only. Give to your Mother my kindest regards, also to Miss
M. L.? The Engineers have invited me to a party tomorrow night, don't
get much time to myself but will try to go. There is an Irish lad called
Ferguson who knows you in the ships staff of officers, quite nice he is but
I don't fall for ships engineers any more, so all is well. So long as
there is plenty to drink, & shall be happy/ So again I wish you all
the best, whether in single or married blessedness, will watch the papers
carefully as I shall not be home again for several years at least. So
remember I am now very happy & when I do think back, which is not often, it
is without any regrets or sighs. I expect you will feel relieved to
get this & to know now that you are completely unattached, so that you can
work out your troubles to your own salvation: I think I recollect you saying
that one day, which now seems so far away, I shall not forget you but yet
also seems like those things, very far away, so finally dear you must know I
miss you. Well I hope you will always be as happy or ? at this moment, I
really mean that, Yours aye Mary ?
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